Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Chuck Norris' Paranormal Facts

Top 10 Paranormal Facts about Chuck Norris

One night in a fit of boredom, I scoured the net, cherry-picking all the paranormal Chuck Norris "facts" and compiling them for YOUR reading pleasure.  Enjoy!

1. Crop Circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn just needs to lie the f*ck down.

2. Aliens DO exist; they're just waiting for Chuck to die before they attack.

3. Chuck Norris doesn't SEE dead people.  Chuck Norris MAKES dead people.

4. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet and under his bed for Chuck Norris.

5. Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

6. Chuck Norris was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

7. Chuck Norris doesn't trust anything he can't kill.  Because of this, Chuck Norris does not trust ghosts---but is working on a way to roundhouse kick them to death, too!

8. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

9. Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.

10. The human soul DOES exist-and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

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