Die Laughing!

One rainy, windy night, a man was walking home alone, down a dark, deserted street by the local cemetary. As he passed the gates, he heard a THUMP! in the darkness behind him. He stopped and turned to see i twas a coffin, on its end, thumping from side to side, and bouncing toward him - THUMP, THUMP, THUMP!!

The man, terrified for his life, turned and ran into the driving rain. Behind him, the coffin came faster - THUMP! THUMPITY, THUMP! The man turned the corner onto his street and ran through his front gate, the coffin right behind him. He dashed in his house, slammed the door shut, but the coffin just smashed its way in and chased the man upstairs. Desperate and scared to death, he bolted into the bathroom and locked the door.

The coffin banged against the door, once ... twice ... and on the third time, the door exploded as the coffin crashed its way into the bathroom. Heart pounding and desperate, the man reached out his hand and grabbed everything and anything that he could throw at the coffin. Razor blades, bathroom scales, towels... but the coffin continued banging from side to side, faster and louder.

THUMP!!! THUMP!!!THUMP!!!

The man screamed and reached for the last item on the shelf; a tiny box of cough drops! Desperate, he threw them at the coffin...

 ...and the coffin stopped!